PHYSICAL REPRESENTATION OF AN INTERNAL TRANSFORMATION
The piece is part of a series of performance paintings called the “Physical Representation of an Internal Transformation.” Projecting an image of myself onto canvas, I ceremoniously transfer a depiction of the inner workings of my own body onto the canvas. The projected body and my own body become one. The acts I do on the canvas, I intentionally also do to myself.
Each performance is acted as a ritual, revealing my own immensely personal process and aims to become a universal act. The ceremony takes on different stages, cleansing, purifying, forgiving and releasing. The canvas therefore also goes through a number of processes such as burning, cutting, washing, etc., until the final transformation had been made. The performances are mostly unplanned. First I meditate in order to get the ideas for what each the transformation will represent and what materials are needed. The materials are laid out on the floor in front of the canvas, but once the video camera is turned on I allow the unconscious to take over and perform the act in a sort of creative trance. This way I believe I am able to be fully present in the process and that the physical portrayal of internal psychic and spiritual changes are real. What is left is a vestige, still carrying the energy of the transformation.
During this particular performance a life-sized image of myself is burned, the ash is collected and a new abstracted figure is created using the ash. The act of burning the figure, a sort of metaphysical death is used to symbolize the burning down of material life, the ego and selfish desires. Ash is what is left when all else is burned away, the imperishable truth.