SOMETHING TO PARTY TOO
KRIS HARZINSKI / WILL HAUGHERY
In “Something To Party Too,” we continue our exploration of hetero-homo (whatever) intimacy by fusing the languages of heterosexual male affection, or “bro-ness,” with various queer modes of intimacy, creating a momentary space where the divisions dissolve and transform into a new terrain of trust.
It’s the fourth quarter and the team you’ve been rooting for all season is either going home after this play or going to the championship. You know that this is it, it’s all on the line in these next 34 seconds of play. This is your time to shine, this is when you and your friends must cheer and shout and swear to the gods of sports to aid the swift destruction of the opposing team. The time is now to lift your voice with your fellow man and scream. Scream for victory, scream for the fight, make your presence present. It’s brotherhood, it’s fraternity, it’s bro-ness. It’s for your bros, all your bros.
One tub crisco, one jar nutella, one PVC pole with white flag, one PVC pole with black flag, one kitchen knife, one leather belt, two pairs grey shorts, two white t-shirts, two shots whiskey, two cans beer.
Choke one another with a belt. Taking a knife, make three cuts in your partner’s shirt. Face each other. Stare. Both of you. Wait a moment. What do you see in the other’s eyes? Now grab his shirt. Simultaneously. Tear it. Rip it. Rip it till it comes off completely. Shirtless, turn away from each other. Now the flags. Put the end into each others shorts, crisscrossing the poles. Cover yourself, your chest, slowly, with a gooey substance. Look straight ahead. With one arm on the shoulder of your bro, lick his stomach. Don’t worry, he’ll do the same. Spit into his shot of whiskey. Again, he’ll do the same. Bend over. Put the shot in your mouth. Shoot it. Feel it glide past the back of your throat. Taste his spit. We’re almost done. Now let’s get wet. Pop the beer. Hands above his head. Watch the white foam cover his head. We bros.